Homographs are
words of like spelling but with more than one meaning. A homograph that is also
pronounced differently is a heteronym.
1) The bandage was wound around the
wound.
2) The farm was
used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so
full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish
the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead
if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier
decided to desert his dessert in the desert..
7) Since there is
no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the
present.
8) A bass was
painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at,
the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not
object to the object.
11) The insurance
was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a
row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too
close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does
funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress
and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with
planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was
too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing
the tear in the painting I shed a tear..
19) I had to
subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I
intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it -
English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England
or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which
aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its
paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a
guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a
pig.
And why is it that
writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why
Isn't the plural
of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2
indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If
you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do
you call it?
If teachers
taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does
a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people
recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim
chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are
opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it
out and in which, an alarm goes off by going
on.
English was
invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human
race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when
the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are
invisible.
Why doesn't
'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?
You lovers of the
English language might enjoy this ..
There is a
two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word,
and that is 'UP.'
It's easy to
understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we
awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?
At a meeting, why
does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP
and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to
write UP a report?
We call UP our
friends.
And we use it to
brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we
warm
UP the leftovers
and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the
house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the
little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP
trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP
excuses.
To be dressed is
one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
A drain must be
opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store
in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be
pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be
knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the
dictionary.
In a desk-sized
dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty
definitions.
If you are UP to
it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is
used.
It will take UP a
lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or
more.
When it threatens
to rain, we say it is clouding UP.
When the sun comes
out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it
wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't
rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on
and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so.......it is time to shut
UP!
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